big ko ko...

*day 1 after the break up*

woke up with swollen eyes agAIN this morning. friends, no worries. not because i cried, but because i piah dvd until around three this morning. 'heart of greed'. 'tang xin feng bao' in mandarin. ehee... baru managed to finish the last episode just now. a nice drama. i love the ending. well well.. the whole story is interesting. people, it's a must watch. aha~

hmmm.... didnt manage to go for a movie today.*sob sob* after a drink with lin and zining at da light around 130pm, carpark of star there full. so........... beh jadi lor....T_____T went visit eboon when passed by travillion. had a short talk.. me and zining then went springie. agAIN... blek..=p went padini to exchange the top i bought tat day with sth special. broad smile i had when walking into padini. after all the hustle and bustle, secret recipe was our next station. i ordered cakes while zining had fish and chips. cakes cakes... wanted to have cakes when having lunch yesterday, but then i brought lunch box. i ordered THREE pieces of cakes. namely chocolate indulgence, chocolate cheese and mango delight. wheeeheee.... but chocolate cheese super sweet. didnt finish that three pieces of cakes. left 1/6 of chocolate cheese, 1/3 of chocolate indulgence and 1/4 of mango delight. wat a waste hor... apa nak buat? couldnt finish mer.. i'm super keng today. whole day i only had that three pieces of cakes. cause wat..






woke up around 10sth this morning. lunch didnt have appetite. after home around 6pm still full with the cakes so skipped dinner.XD not that i didnt have proper meal cause i'm sad arrrrr... just simply dont have appetite to eat.^^
after secret recipe, went padini agAIN to check my shift for tomorrow. ian was not around by that time. then went the face shop to spend money. bought two bottles of nail polish. yeah, TWO bottles. ehee... when got out from there, saw ian around. zining said she wanna have a look on him. so she went in agAIN.

'u sure u wont regret for breaking up with him?', she asked after walked out from the store.
cause ian's engtau she said.
people, not that i wont regret. right from the beginning, i didnt want a break up. i gave him the chance to say break. it's ME who gave him the chance. for i love him, so i dont want to say break.
'you dump him better than he dump you,' that's what ehren said.
i'm supposed to be the one who said break. not that little brat. it should be ME, sarah tan who asked for a break. should be ME!
saw teckshin back from toilet at the same time, asked for the RM2 that he owed me. actually wanna go back to the store facing ian with a smile, just to show him that me, sarah tan, still can live a happy life without him.
waited outside the store. then saw ian and andrew went toilet. i didnt take a look at him. joked around with zining instead. laughing happily.
i know i was just pretending. i've got no choice. i cant let him see that sarah tan is bleeding inside. no,i cant! i have to let him know that i can live happily without him. i have to let him know that!

tomorrow will be going for work. sarah tan must always wear a smile on her face. even facing the bitchy supervisor and S.A. sarah tan still has to be patient. i've lost the person i love. i cant lost my own intergrity.

speaked a lot to zining on the way home. felt like crying, but i've got no more tears to flow...
he's not of worth for me to cry and love him. i know all these. i know it...

anyways, God will bless me and bring me through all these eventhough i still love him. AMEN!
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woke up around 8sth after home. tooO tired. plus plus long didnt have a nap. saw a text when woke up. guess it was from who.....












NEO ZHI YUAN!!!!!! aha~

i thought i saw wrong name at first. when i saw properly at the nick agAIN.. no mistake. it's 'big brother' in mandarin. it's neo zhi yuan. ehee...
long didnt have a chat with him looO... thought he changed his number d....
had a long chat. about two hours plus. hehe.. chatted lotsa things...=D

it's good to chat with him.^^