Anxiety kills

Restless. Anxious.

Though I shouldn't be anxious about anything, man I'm just a human, not Saint!!

A Malaysian who worked in Singapore for years and have blended well in Singapore culture and had to shift base back to Malaysia for some insane reasons.

Have been at hometown since Feb this year and I couldnt adapt. The day I adapt would be the day I either make it big or give up on myself totally, as in to survive.

Where else on earth would drivers on road be at speed of 40km/hr? Even to chiong traffic light also that speed, like seriously?? Not to mention it's only 20km/hr on light drizzling days!!! Gahhh. I'd be running after buses, even before trains started to alert commuters that doors are closing when was at sg.

And the typical cina here really no joke. Copy idea, price war, take advantage. Pap! That's it! 2020 coming pretty soooooon. Cant people just help each other, competitor or not. Well at least I'm trying to offer help to people I met, only to those not taking advantage on me. Open minded cina are like gem, hard to come by, somehow glad that I do meet a handful, but only English speakers are like that, who have their eyes opened elsewhere out of this place. 

Constantly planning n checking on calendar n air ticket on when can I go to sg, even for leisure. I need to kill the anxiety badly. Need some good jap, chwee kueh n fish skin dumplings!! N to check out my crush!! A crush is a crush anyway. I could have been working on it if I'm still at sg but ahhhhhh

life updates

how time flies and i hadn't been writing a post since so long ago.
i wonder who still keep a blog active as social medias are more of a hot cake as compared to blogger.

hiccups on and off through these days.
i'm still doing okay after all.

just a little update,
I've completed my master's course *hooray* haha! the final sem on law was indeed tormenting. thank God i managed to pull it through.

bought a last min ticket to Xi An and Jiu Zhai Gou China.
ticket bought a mth before departure. and itinerary was planned roughly as i still had to focus on my final exam.
the trip was good. to blog about it when i have more time to spare. aha

after the trip i went back home for three mths plus, while waiting to start new job.
managed to pick up swimming lesson during the long break. and I've yearned to learn to swim all the while.
love swimming now.

back to sg in mid of july with new job.
and to find that something was not straight with church life.

convocation was in august. me and my battle mates for the past two years. some i get to know from different modules that we did together. 

appreciate friend who took leave and spent on air ticket and hotel just to attend my convocation. very touched indeed. and another friend who took leave from work and travel all the way to my uni. haha! 

didn't like the job so i quitted end Sep and to find a job that I'm currently in and love it to max that I'm quite ok to work till 5pm on saturday. haha!

its very important to get a job that you love, so you won't have to work a day. and yea, it feels like I'm just interacting with people, rushing deadlines like doing school assignments instead of being at work. haha!

and things have fallen into places as of now, be it at work or at church, all good, as I've moved on to another church.

and, December has been good to me so far =)

final module

Final Sem Final Module

And it's the "beloved" Construction Law

we had test 1 somewhen around end Feb.

and ya test 2 be on this friday LOL

basically law to engineers is like alien.

i thought finance was disaster, not until i met law.

i never thought my english is lousy, until i met law =.=

i actually had my mum to post me my oxford dictionary, which surprisingly ageing close to 20 XD

for the test, we studied through midnight for about a week.

for me, thankfully sleeping at 3am was the latest, as i still had to wake up at 6+ am for work.

@$^$#%! seriously why did i take up part time study??? beats me =.=

that thickness.. and its only half a semester. still has half a sem of lecture slides not printed yet. seriously i wonder how did law students make it through.. i really really wonder...... 

even to combine the notes of my two engineering modules last sem also weren't that thick :O

right after the test three of us were super shag like deflated tyre, yet had to survive through the lecture. 

but we didn't really pay much attention to the lecture. brain sort of auto shut down XD

lectures still had to be continued as the test only took an hour =.=

and over the weekend both me and another lady didn't feel like moving at all. she's luckier, has a weekly part time housekeeper. i still had to do housework =.= =.= the another men too bad la, need to spend time with kids XD

so i went for a good jap after the test on sunday at tampopo at clarke quay :D

despite the fact that clarke quay is only about 15mins walk from my place, i took uber there XD too tired bahhhhhhhhh HAHA

ottoro and amaebi =D 

ottoro was superb. and so did amaebi. and ottoro alone is $12 HAHAHA

some deluxe chirashi don

would be good if the tempura dish can be changed to something lighter.

and, felt so contented after having the jap, especially being so lethargic after the test =))

01_01_2017

yet another year.
it had been a lousy 2016 overall.
thank God december of 2016 had been good to me.
especially when a friend talked me through. somehow able to walk out from self-condemnation, a bit.

resolutions??

these?

not too sure.

is a year of uncertainties. so nothing much solid

hope can sail smoothly through this year.

parts and puzzles of december

december had been quite good to me.

a good meal for birthday as usual.
since was back on the birthday itself, so i went for food hunt two days earlier.

an omakase meal of $68 at Kaiware.

 this is scallop

 assorted sashimi

 shishamo, which is an add-on

 chawanmushi with good ingredients

 this made the $68 worthy.

*dunno what fish was that, uni sushi, ikura sushi*

 when i saw the bento i went jaw dropped. i was full after the sushi set. sincerely

smoked duck with rice, mentaiko cod fish fillet, nice soup.

last last, dessert. mochi with vanilla ice cream maybe?

it's Omakase meal, which means, the chef to decide.
so i didn't know what are the dishes before hand.
seems like i have trained my taste buds well. able to tell what are some of those foods by just tasting. like the scallop, the mentaiko cod fish *yeah, can even tell what type of fish is that =.= *, the smoked duck, and the soup base =.=

next up was the wedding of Zi Ning. haha bought my air ticket a year before. december is always the peak season, any wedding of that time must be informed much earlier to secure cheap ticket XD

so we decided to throw her a bridal shower.
as only me has to fly from singapore, we worked for the decorations via Whatsapp XD

and i m very proud to say that.....

 the designs were by me!!!! XD printing was by Lynn after i had done designing and emailed her for the printing job.

the tassels , the background of the letters were by me too XD

i actually worked on it on the day before flying home till around 1+, and had not packed my stuffs yet. that was indeed crazy =.=

 and funny thing is, i bought the balloons from Singapore too!!! haha! coz we were all working.. and it turned out to be that, it's easier for me to source out balloons than the rest even though we were all  still working. so Chin Mei bought the cupcakes and Lynn bought the crown, while me managed to grab a bottle of Bottega Rose Gold Pinot Nero Brut from Changi at the 11th hour :P

and the idea to tie the balloons on the chairs was super duper last minute. like after decorating the wall and arranging the cakes and champagne haha! and, thank God I'm an engineer. and engineer can really do wonders. the balloons couldn't be tied straight up initially. me n my brain, to make all stood straight up hahahaha!!

i kind of like that ;)

i was really like 疑神疑鬼 while waiting for the bride-to-be to reach, as the bridal shower was meant to be a surprise XD

 mum was at home, so managed to get her to help us to get a shot =)

 haha! the birthday celebration was a total surprise. they all actually forgotten initially. Zi Ning did remember, my, so amazing XD and she bought the cake.
so it was a double celebration ;)

21years and counting. love this shot ;)

 thankful for them. one of my greatest blessings to have them =D

mm hmm.. friend said i won't have to be worried to be jobless in future. coz i... though being an engineer, i can be an event planner [kind of lousy one ??XD] and also an early childhood educator [cause have been in sunday school ministry for some years]. and yea, i somewhat agree to that. hahaha!

the day was two days after the bridal shower.

 the cute guy, who joined the bridesmaids team! haha!

they've got cute pre wedding shots!!

the crash gate part in the morning was fun and funny with the groomsmen's participation. had a good belly-hurting laugh XD

the photo shooting near noon was fun too but kind of "oh my". even had heatstroke, which caused me to burn my original flight ticket back to singapore and had saline water injection at the hospital =.=

nonetheless, it's a very good memories!!!

the semester was kind of hectic, but i managed to survive. and got my first A- in NTU!! XD XD killed nine modules, only one A-, and that was a module under Civil Engineering. once again proved that my decision to be in management classes was wrong XD