"As I began to love myself"

=by Charlie Chaplin=

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!

Results ;)

never underestimate the kiasu-ness of true blue singaporean.. a fren actly checked the results at 6+ in the morning .... =.= but results wasn't released yet. until 9am hahaha!

so we all passed happily =)

pointers are over 5.0. 

lousiest is value engineering, which was quite surprising... maybe i failed to smoke lecturers haha!

Project planning surprised me too! as i really left a whole question blank! XDD

overall I'm contented this semester. seeing at how busy was i at work, with kids, with houseworks, and the stress i exerted on myself that i didn't study two days before the exams... XDDD

Yiruma 2015

Attended Yiruma's piano performance last November at Star Vista.
i skipped a lecture just to attend his performance :P
the hall is far from workplace, definitely has no way for me to go home get showered and changed and rush to the hall on time, think even cab also couldn't help.
i really really wished i could be there in dress and heels. but.. wat to do..
so i could only be there to put on eyeliner after a quick dinner there. for the whole day i had been thinking whether to paint or not to paint. haha! after the dinner still had ample time so i decided to paint! :P
i like the ambience there.. saw people who went alone too! its like, wise men think alike.. even to go alone also didn't want to miss the chance to see him and enjoy his pieces ;)

had a great night that night! love it so much! and his impromptu improvised pieces with a young guy from the floor too!

was so excited that i actually tossed and turned on bed the night before able to fall asleep :P :P

the special man said that i was like meeting my lover, so excited, even painted myself though knowing that he wouldn't be able to see me. hahahhaha! 

look forward to his return!!!!

post exam

holiday is good ;)
about 10weeks? or 12 weeks?
but still have to work.
miss undergrad days. holiday means holiday.

it was a very stressful semester.
project planning and control somehow related to financing =.= had a "fantastic" time with linear programming, by name its programming, but we did it manually without software, imagine instead of x+y=z, its x1+x2=z. wat an equation =.= first lecture of it i was already in milky way. both the tests and final i just happily left it blank =.= i think i flung the two tests, didn't dare to see the CA score. turned out final paper overall was okay, but like i said, whole question of linear programming was left unanswered :P
IT in construction is stupid to attend. only attended first few lectures and lectures involved software learning, towards the end was either i was caught up at site or the lectures were boring so i skipped skipped all the way. the final was "fantastic". nothing came out from the lecture notes =.=
value engineering was ok, i attended most of the lectures. towards the end was boring, yet still attended. to smoke the lecturers in exam for the paper is somewhat harder than to deal with project planning paper. haha!

overall had fun with the other three friends of mine. they are fun :D they crack me up early in the morning in the whatsapp chat group. they are real funny XD

results be out on coming monday. kan jiong lei :O

mumbles

halfway through second sem. 

感谢脑残的project manager,我的工作量突然增加很多

相信找完全新加坡应该找不到第二个和她一样脑残的

也相信找完全新加坡应该找不到第二个在我这个职位竟然会这么忙

起初接着份工就图轻松，我可以专心上课

没想到遇到脑残的女人

把工地的工作当家家酒

她的一句话我做多了好多不切实际不必要的工作

没工地的经验竟然可以坐上这位子

真够脑残

她拿那种薪水竟然时间多到还可以怀孕

我拿那一丁点的薪水忙的要呕

我是女的都受不了了。*眼球翻到后脑勺翻不回来了！！！*

上个学期真的不知道怎么过的。

final week还依旧忙工作，吃了晚餐回到家休息一下，冲凉，看戏一下(对！我竟然还有时间看戏！) ding dong ding dong 开始要学书时已经10点多了 囧 喔对，我其实还有在工地继续留下来，图有大monitor,冷气,桌子椅子什么的。就留到7点多就走了，离家太远没办法啦。同班几个政府部门的竟然还有一天的study leave，考试当天还有exam leave!!!什么啊啊啊 然后周末依然洗衣烫衣抹地+学书！！！突然就发现我怎么好像octopus ahhhhhh XD

考final当天我还可以上半天班，走工地，处理问题 然后搭cab去考试 囧

这个sem不知道要怎么熬了。。工作突然忙了 唉

原来又要工作又要上课的一个人真的很难熬下去

很难。。

突然发现。。原来我是我自己唯一的拐杖。只有我一个人撑着自己走