Sarah's Confession

and so, i'm officially 21! time flies, i've been living on this world for two decades.

for the past two decades, my life wasnt of a bed of roses.

i drew a life graph when i was in Lower 6 before, during the PRS training camp, required by Miss Chong, the teacher in charge of this PRS club. i dont keep tat graph. but no one would expected it to be so crooked, and those who were in the same sharing group with me, i bet that they were all amazed. i still remember that i was quite surprised as Miss Chong said that she knows that i camouflage myself and that i'm a strong girl. LOL. Miss Chong is a good teacher.

for the same training camp, we had this session--find an object to represent ourselves and state the reasons for that object. prefects training camp had this too, but tat time, i didnt really take it serious to find a suitable object. for the PRS training camp, i actually used sand to represent myself. reasons--useless. and yea of course, Ms Chong did 'cheng' me. LOL. she said that sand IS important. without sand, most things couldnt be formed.

till today, i'm still lack of confidence. i still think that i'm just no one, not important, with or without my existence in this world, makes no difference in anyone's life. the earth would just keep going. whatever i do, no one will acknowledge how accurate it is. academically, even if i'm right, i'd turn to my next and ask if i'm correct, and before anything, i'd just cancel out the answer i have. and even if i'm correct, no one would listen to me, and stand firm on his answer, tho theirs are proven to be wrong.

and yea, i'm just one small sand, giving no significant contribution to the others. but i'm glad that God sees me, the tiny sand. but, i'm still of no confidence. u might see me as very loud, but i completely have no confidence.

i still have the fear to enter Padini Concept Store at The Spring. aha, u know i know. i know i'm stupid and shouldnt have that fear. i did nothing wrong. i wasnt the one with flaws. whenever i wanna go Padini, i'd think and stay alert, like betting on my luck that his off day is still the same so that i'd be able to shop around. after one and a half year, i'm still afraid. why not say that i'm escaping? LOL.

oya, my 20th wasnt that bad too!

• remember my trip to singapore with tzeboon? aha~ it was so coincidentally that we met this International Wine Fair, and it was my first time that i tried various type of wine and beer, of course, none has the alcohol content that exceeds 30% le..>< so ="PP">
• starting 7/1/2009, i'm no longer available. i guess, no more second chance for me to be available again heh? so sorry for those i've killed. he's my mr right, so i'm not wrong for all the killings. aaah... he's totally not my type. at least he gives me the feeling that he's the one. and it's the second time that i fall for him due to some stupid complications. x)
• some crazy things i've done! went home just for ONE week before survey camp instead of exploring west malaysia just for some STUPID reason!X) was on MRT for one hour plus plus, passing by 20 over stations just for some meet up! ouh my~ i can go that crazy! LOL

how would my 21st end up? hmm...

by the way, not holding any parties or celebration.

1. as i've said earlier on, wat's so special about being 21 years old? LOL. every year also has 8th of december.
2. i dont wanna clear up all the mess after the party. it's MY labour day, dont wanna work on anything on that day. =PP
3. i dunno who to invite to my party. the most important ones-- eli and lynn are doing BIG business, even if dated them earlier on, they wont be able to confirm anything till the very hour. XDD

my wishes............

• i wanna be a 24/7 shopaholic
• friends around would stay happy and healthy wealthy always and forever
• i can work something out. aha~
• trying hard to dress up to be more matured! would be delighted if i can dress myself like a 23 years old lady! LOL LOL!!! people around only wanna look younger, only me... wahahahahaha...
• most importantly, people around would get to know how loving Jesus is that i'm still alive in this world. too many miracles that He has performed in my life. hopefully, friends, i wanna see u all in heaven some day.

but i ended up with some tea sessions with bunch of friends. and it's my first time passing the time with my primary classmates! my birthday always falls on school holidays, so i used to have this day over without friends around but with their wishes [ever since i have a mobile phone]. hahaks!

and hey, last but not least, thanks for all the wishes, present from lynn, and everything!!!=))