stressed

end of week 2

never tried sleeping soundly through the night ever since i picked up this job

its really like torturing myself with this

know well that works will never end, until the end of this project

i feel good completing all the works i planned for the day but at the end of the day, back at home, i would still think of next day's tasks.

like, seriously, I'm tired and sleepy everyday, really sleepy, i close my eyes but the mind just doesnt wanna shut down. wake up in the middle of night EVERYDAY!!!!

once, the man said that when he thought of monday then feel tired. i said, talking of monday i wanna cry. 

it's not the monday blue that makes me feel like hanging myself. its the progress. things planned yet dunno if can be carried out.

the man laughed at me and said, now you know contractor stress.

if thats stress, then I'm very stressed now.

i have a bunch of RTOs without dignity. would drag the casting time just wanted to claim OT. hello, when they drag the time, means i gonna be off late too. and once again, hello, they can claim OT, at higher rate some more, and i couldn't claim my OT. some more its merely two hours $10, who would wanna have such OT claim???!!! i can stay for free, only when i want to. not when they want to.

oh man, I'm an RE myself but kena bullied by bunch of RTOs. what the fish is this!!

my zone's RTO dragged my inspection time for his own convenience on Saturday that day. hey, I'm only half day on Saturday. i got too enraged and broke down  and cried, just couldn't help to control :(

i didn't care what they want, i just called off the casting and went home. if thats what they want, they should arrange it themselves. my teammates are all phillipinos, and please, never ever try working with a bunch of Pinoys. they really sucks max, differ not much from certain ethnic of malaysia =.= if its their intention to let me die, fret not, I'm gonna let them die too. times up, leave taken, i will just throw everything aside and fly back home. now lets see who's gonna die.